They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
