just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
