i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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