I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
