Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
