Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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