I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
