Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
