question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
