we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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