our cab driver is having phone sex.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
