Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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