Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
