Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
