Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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