YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
