There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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