East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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