Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
