Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
