I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
how drunk are you?
Several
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
