normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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