He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
