Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
