I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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