so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
