Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
