the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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