I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Can I color on your dick again?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
