I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
