What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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