I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
