I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
