She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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