And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
