so explain again why im purple
no
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
