He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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