My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
