Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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