I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
