Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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