Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am mentally ready for anal.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
