I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am in a vortex of obligation.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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