you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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