I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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