You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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