Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
