Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
