Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
