Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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