i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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