the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
