i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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