No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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